My Scales Are The Devil

The past 5 weeks have been a challenge mentally, physically and emotionally.  I have joined Curves and been going 3 times a week consistently, and cardio the other 3 days.  Concentrating on increasing my exercise and pushing myself harder, while decreasing my portion sizes.  I have had injuries and tears, kept myself in check when Ive had a week moment with food.  I have not cheated .... not one little bit.  My food choices have been excellent, and I have noticed I have more energy than ever before. 

So you can imagine my anticipation when I jumped on those scales today, for the first time since I started my journey.  Oh I couldn't wait to see what all my hard work had done for me.  How much my tears and screwed up faces had worked for. 

 D  E  V  A  S  T  A  T  E  D !!!

No way I've put ON WEIGHT!

I normally would have eaten this! 

 In one sitting

 

Instead I was so good and chose a meal like this!

 

No this can not be, it has to be wrong.  In desperation I slid that weight over again just to be sure, and there it was the undeniable truth.  I am fatter than when I first started!  106.3kg there it is the number.  I just stood on those scales in shock looking at THE NUMBER!  What have I done wrong?  I just wanted to cry.  So lets look at the measurements, because that was next.  Let me tell you I wanted to suck it all in to make myself feel better, but I was so deflated I couldn't even control those muscles.  They were in shock!  I was like a wet fish flopping around on the bottom of the boat, realising I couldn't breath.

The results;

I lost 3cm off my bust
3.6cm from my abdomen
1.9cm from my hips
2.2cm off my thighs
2.7cm from around my arm

WOW!  That's great loosing cm NOT mm but centimetres. 

In light of this I had taken a beating .... not only did I have to hold back the tears, but also get through my training session.  So I just pumped it out!  Then I saw what I needed to see, on the wall of the gym was a picture of a princess castle.  I had noticed it before and didn't really know what it was for,  I just assumed birthdays or something.  But today I could see my name, there it was CALEY P right up there in the tower.  It said "Queen of the Castle" it was me, I was named as the most consistent person for the month.  What an achievement!

Ok so I have lost weight and obviously built up muscle, which we are all told weighs more than fat.  So why does the number on the scales make me feel so worthless?  I don't know at the end of the day it's just a number isn't it?  I suppose it comes down to understanding why?  Why the scales show I'm heavier, and why the measurements are lower, why my BMI was virtually the same.  EDUCATION is a key element and today was my first lesson.